So Chic, Very Chic: ‘Pretty Woman’ Does Dubai
This is So Chic, Very Chic, PAPER’s examination of Bravo’s sprawling cohort of fashion obsessives. From haute couture to TJ Maxx, they’ve literally worn it all. Sometimes they stunt, sometimes they turn the look, and sometimes they burn holes in retinas my ophthalmologist says might never heal.
Pretty Woman has to be one of the most referenced pop cultural motifs of the modern age, right?
The movie has featured prominently on Bravo, from a recreation of its famous hotel scenes on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills to frequent mentions on the latest The Real Housewives of Dubai. Funny, considering it’s about a down-on-her-luck sex worker falling in with a dashing businessman. Most of these women buck at the mention of gold-digging but can’t keep comments about the movie out of their mouths! I find that tension fascinating.
That said, if the film was made today, it would not be in Beverly Hills like the original iteration. It’d either start at Kemo Sabe’s Aspen location — think VIP bar slash billionaire cowboy store — or Dubai, funny enough. Mentioning why that might be edges dangerously close to Google’s strict SFW search ranking.
I’ll let everyone fill in the blanks.
Beyond that, I am quite interested in the idea that the Housewives function as quasi-ladies in waiting, or more broadly, courtesans of the palace. I saw a tweet from a mutual follower of mine that said there was a gap in the market for these “ladies in waiting,” hence why it’s on my mind. I’d like to propose we’ve filled that gap with Bravolebrities. If the function of the lady in waiting is to soothe, consider the slavering masses who’s mental health and identity formations are based on the happenings of layabout Manhattanites and soccer moms and beauty entrepreneurs they watch on television each week.
Or, I’ve laid by the pool too much this week and my brain’s been fried by the daily UV index.
The Real Housewives of Dubai
Chanel Ayan
The headmistress of Dubai fashion is back this week! The pussycat iconography continues with this bonkers drapery. The earrings make it glamor, as does the demure middle part, but the camp undertones struggle to break free of its Grecian trappings. This is not a criticism, to be clear, but merely an observation that her sensibilities often struggle against the frame size of modern televisions.
She opted for business casual on a visit to Huda Beauty later in the episode, which again, showed her versatility. I quite like this YSL number with the large hoops and smoky eyes. The effect is quite striking and chic, like the ideal of the YSL woman in the mid-to-late 2000s, before whatever is happening now took hold of the label.
Later in the episode, our girl showed up to a polo match in couture, dressed “for Marilyn Monroe’s funeral,” as Brooks spat out in her confessional. I’m not quite sure the comparison lands, but should she ever choose to show up to a funeral in this, I’d think the dead would jump up out their graves to bow at her feet. I mean, will there ever be another woman this severely cunt ever again on Bravo? Probably not. Therefore, I implore the network to keep this show on for another 100 seasons, even if it’s still terrible.
Caroline Brooks
Enter the Pretty Woman accusations! Despite her critics, this is some of Brooks’ best dressings this season, even if she’s fallen into the trap of affixing a broach to make a suit jacket seem more expensive than it really is. Perhaps its not cheap, but it certainly needs tailoring in the shoulders. That said, these glasses are the perfect shape for her chosen eyebrows, and the lip color is exquisite. I’m even willing to overlook that pearl headband just this once — that’s how tickled I am by her brush with chicness!
Taleen Marie
On the opposite end of the spectrum is Taleen’s jumpsuit, which has an attached skirt for dramatic effect. Perhaps it’s the color of the lace, or the dangly little watch, or the Chanel earrings, or the Hermes scarf hat — in conjunction with a lace bodycon jumpsuit with an attached skirt. None of it works for me in addition to the other! I apologize to this woman, who I’m sure spent a lot of money to look like this, and who I’m sure has worked very hard to do her job successfully on this show, and I hope she is afforded the opportunity to see herself in retrospect and make different choices.
Sara Al Madani and Some Lady and a Dog
Sara and her friend here were the Frick and Frack of the polo outing, donning a co-ordinated hat ensemble that read closer to costume than they did sensible polo attire. Not that I’m against costume — check out my opinions on Chanel Ayan — but I am against things that toe the line. If her friend’s cerulean dress had maybe lost the ostrich feathers on the shoulders and hat… I’d maybe have a different opinion. Keyword maybe.
As for Sara, I’m against things that have writing on them out of principle. Why wear a dress that’s designed like designer athleisure leggings?
The Real Housewives of Orange County
Katie Ginella
This dress immediately read like a modern cheongsam to me, dresses that became popular for women in 1920s China. Interested, I looked up the label Sau Lee, run by Hong Kong-based designer Cheryl Leung. In a Tatler interview from 2023, she told the magazine: “I really felt like there was a gap in occasion wear, where there were only the luxury brands or fast fashion; and that’s a gap that I really wanted to fill. There were limited options that celebrated Chinese culture in contemporary fashion.”
All in, it was an interesting detour for me to take on a show otherwise dominated by Nordstrom Rack and Revolve. Kudos to Katie for expanding the fashion portfolio on a show that is quite often mired in the past — both in trend and politics — while looking quite chic in the process. Seriously! I saw hints of her fashion aspirations with that early confessional look, and this solidifies her as someone willing to take modest risks on her first outing. Figures, seeing as she’s already swung at Heather Dubrow and her cohort of minions.
Jennifer Pedranti
This dress is fine, and the Utah curls in her hair are also fine. Mostly, this is fine! I’m even a bit tickled by her orange talons. My problem, as always, is the insistence of cast members on this show and The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City that nude lips with no blush and heavy contour and warm eye makeup is a sensible way to appear on camera. In isolation — an Instagram grid, a catalog for Sears — the look is fine enough. But on television, with its filters and lighting, it gives one a flat appearance that is ultimately quite spooky. No shade on her appearance by any means. She’s beautiful! But this glam gives a bit “Freddie Kreuger” mask, and these makeup artists have worked with the television medium long enough to know better.
Gina Kirschenheiter
This was the first episode where I really got my eyes on Gina’s title card outfit. I’m not mad at it! I think the dress is simple and effective, and while her makeup falls a bit to close into the aforementioned trappings of Orange County, her overall appearance is quite sophisticated. At least, sophisticated enough to shop at a Whole Foods in Newport Beach after yoga class.
Heather Dubrow
I almost left this dress out, as I thought I’d covered it already. Alas, it looks like every other dress in Nordstrom Rack right now, and I’d imprinted my own shopping experiences on her very expensive wardrobe. I’m not sure I’m used to seeing her in this much color, let alone pattern work, and the effect is quite striking! Her skin looks radiant in these reds and pinks, and her makeup is blissfully multi-toned, unlike her peers. While I’m generally averse to pulling one’s hair straight back like this, the over the shoulder extensions are quite romantic. (Sorry to clock that they are, in fact, extensions.)
Photos courtesy of NBCUniversal/Bravo
This is So Chic, Very Chic, PAPER’s examination of Bravo’s sprawling cohort of fashion obsessives. From haute couture to TJ Maxx, they’ve literally worn it all. Sometimes they stunt, sometimes they turn the look, and sometimes they burn holes in retinas my ophthalmologist says might never heal. Pretty Woman has to be one of the…