So Chic, Very Chic: Mormon Mom Shamers
Mom shame — what does it actually mean, really?
I’m struck by this thought as the latest episode of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City winds down with a chorus of fading screams and shouts. The Salt Lake City area is abuzz with the topic, as it likewise features prominently in the plot of RHOSLC’s evil twin, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Like most great conversation stoppers — think when gay people invoke Fran Lebowitz’s AIDs monologue from Public Speaking — “mom shame” has become a finely tuned weapon for women named McKaytLynne. (Or Britani, in the case of The Real Housewives.)
When deployed, mom shame curbs any and all conversation surrounding it. It serves the same social function as punching a hole in the wall, or throwing a coffee cup across the room. What is one supposed to do when confronted with it? Pat a shoulder, surely. Or, like on Secret Lives, say it was actually quite brave to do a TikTok dance with your dangerously ill newborn at a hospital. That’s a normal response to a stressful situation, and nobody should be judged, or exposed to their friend’s opinions about it.
When deployed, mom shame curbs any and all conversation surrounding it. It serves the same social function as punching a hole in the wall, or throwing a coffee cup across the room. What is one supposed to do when confronted with it? Pat a shoulder, surely. Or, like on Secret Lives, say it was actually quite brave to do a TikTok dance with your dangerously ill newborn at a hospital. That’s a normal response to a stressful situation, and nobody should be judged, or exposed to their friend’s opinions about it.
Now, our society does shame motherhood specifically in various political, social, domestic, and professional situations. We shame public breastfeeding, and bodily changes, and the choice to stay at home with children, and the choice to return to work. We shame abortion, and hysterectomies, and surrogacy, and IVF. We shame the choice to be a mom, and we shame the choice to not be a mom. But don’t tell reality stars who overuse the accusation any of that! Otherwise, how else will they end a screaming match in a busy restaurant while filming a reality television show with their coworkers?
Of course, they wore outfits to mom-shame each other in. Why don’t we talk about those, instead of “mentioning the children,” to quote one Meredith Marks.
The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City
Mary Cosby
The queen of Salt Lake City outfit-wearing opted for quite the minimal attire this episode, the most memorable of which was this hooded poncho, fingerless gloves and designer sunglasses disguise. She’s dressed like a goofy comedian in a direct-to-DVD movie about a private detective who can’t stop falling into hijinks on the case. Or, like an undercover millionaire Tyra Banks put in disguise for a special on the working class. It tickled me, deeply, and I’ve been laughing about this still for a solid twelve hours now. Would you believe her anger is over some purses Britani put in her purse when she was a poor six year old to keep from starving, or whatever the story was?
Angie and Beefcake Katsanevas
I generally tend to keep things demure in the column, but these two brought out an disturbingly crass side to me this week. Salt Lake City’s hair care power couple really pulled out the stops to be the hottest married people west of the Mississippi, at least on television. She wore leather pants and a leopard top and he dressed like a DJ doing B2B at one of Basement’s lesser nights. It’s no wonder they’re happily married and totally obsessed with each other. If I had a man who could bench me with one arm and cut a mean fringe haircut, I’d have already moved to Salt Lake City for him!
Bronwyn Newport
Christopher John Rogers and Christian Siriano in one episode! I have to say that pulling that second polka dot look, a matching corset and skirt, is quite impressive. I wonder if she saw Anne Hathaway in the same collection and felt inspired! Probably not, as the Saks website is readily available, but I can dream.
The Siriano jacket, meanwhile, is troubling. I’m troubled by her more broadly, specifically because she lied about that YSL heart jacket last episode, and it threw her entire relationship to “couture” into question for me. Whether knowingly or not, it was a silly thing to say there were only three in the entire world. If only there was one of that jacket in the world, and it was locked away in Siriano’s archive where I’d never have to look at it again!
She also pulled this Alaïa number with Valentino Garavani (the diffusion line) heels and a pair of Schiaparelli earrings. I clocked the Schiaparelli right away, as the “visage” earrings have become quite the sight on trend-hunters, but the Alaïa is the real star here. I’m a sucker for this silhouette, and it’s perfect for a snowbound fashionista with tacky taste in furniture.
Meredith Marks
I was recently watching a Jenna Lyons’ video on TikTok recently where she rants about silk, when asked to source a silk wedding dress. I believe this is poly stretch satin, judging by the fit, but it could very well be duchess satin. Who knows! Either way, I don’t dislike it, but don’t confuse that with fondness, either. Like Meredith this season, I look at this off the shoulder dress, look away and forget what I just did. I look back, nod and then look away again, forgetting it again. This repeats until I begin to keep a journal chronicling my disturbing memory loss. Every single time I attempt to hold the image of it in my head for longer than a nano-second, it disappears again.
Later in the episode, Meredith attempts to carve out a plot line for herself this season by being goofy and pouring a bunch of bath products into a metal bowl. I used to do this too, when I was five years old, and would make a potion out of the conditioners and dyes in my grandma’s hair salon. I’d beg my older brother to drink it, hoping it’d make him nicer to me because it was a potion after all, but he never would.
Look at her glasses! She’s goofy, and also cheating off her nemesis Angie K’s homework last season. Big eyewear is a well-trodden path, just like plot lines about her happy marriage or fake fashion designer son.
It’s not all bad, however. She debuts two new confessional looks this episode, which we’ve been front-loaded with this season. Unlike that first dress, this dress is an exquisite color on Meredith. Shoutout jewel tones! The hair is right, her glam is right, and the twist at the sleeve is just playful enough to escape a scathing remark from me. Anyway, want to watch that Jenna Lyons TikTok video with me? It’d be more productive than attempting to talk about her cream blazer.
@jennalyonsnyc SILK PSA 📣
Whitney Rose
This is going to sound scary but I think Whitney and I are related? I know she has had extensive plastic surgery work, mostly injections, but I swear to god she looks exactly like my mother here. I’m blessed with a young mom, and this could very well be a picture of her. Down to the flannel top and gold jewelry and brightly colored nails! When she crossed my screen, I gasped, wondering what she was doing on my TV show. Even the bob is my mom, who loves a mean hairdo with a fierce part. Add some MAC lipstick in “Twig” and her favorite brown eyeshadow and my mom might have a second career as a Wild Rose Impersonator.
Flashing forward to the future, when this confessional was filmed, Whitney has installed some Keratin bonded extensions and secured her dress with some mismatched safety pins. I’m not sure if the design is meant to be this lopsided, but I’d like to think the pins were Whitney’s own idea. “It’s fashion!” It sure is.
Britani Bateman
When in doubt, put on a Versace top and curl your hair away from the face. These are words that the tackiest of Real Housewives have lived by for 20 years. It’s good advice, usually, unless it’s this Versace top. I’m not upset about it or anything, but aren’t we just a bit past this whole aesthetic? I mean culturally? They slapped this sort of thing on over at The Real Housewives of New Jersey headquarters like…six years ago! Is that how long the trans-continental fashion trade takes from the East Coast to the salty shores of Park City?
Photos courtesy of Bravo/NBCUniversal
Mom shame — what does it actually mean, really? I’m struck by this thought as the latest episode of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City winds down with a chorus of fading screams and shouts. The Salt Lake City area is abuzz with the topic, as it likewise features prominently in the plot of…