Colin Self Finds Clarity With ‘lemniscate’
Colin Self’s Iemniscate EP unfolds as an opera seria in four parts, beginning with their voice fluttering acapella before exploding into total chaos and, finally, arriving at a sense of clarity on the closing track. This powerful journey, from innocence to terror and understanding, is reflective of what Self says they were experiencing while creating the project.
The “Iemniscate” music video, premiering today on PAPER, offers a visualization of this trans-dimensional arc, as Self wanders alone at dusk through a barren landscape. “That the infinite in you is the infinite in me,” they sing, walking confidently into the abyss before stumbling upon a pink wig buried in the sand that matches their own hair color.
Below for PAPER, Self dives into their first new release since the 2018 album Siblings and companion EP Orphans. Iemniscate is out everywhere now on NYC label RVNG Intl.
What is the concept behind “lemniscate,” lyrically?
I wrote “lemniscate” on the other side of what felt like a grueling journey of lostness, arriving at this clarity and sense of self. I had gone through this journey of making and scrapping almost an entire record, having had my laptop stolen and having to start over, feeling so much loss and uncertainty. Until suddenly, really through grace, I found myself on the other side of it all and was like, “Here I am, this sounds and feels like me,” like I had come back to myself. I remember sitting down and recording these lyrics in a single take, feeling like my musical spirit had returned to me and what a relief it was to feel that self-recognition through song. I imagined singing this song to myself across space-time, to seven-year-old Colin and 70-year-old Colin, a kind of interdimensional reminder that no matter what hardships lie ahead, I have myself.
Who are some of the key collaborators behind bringing all of this to life?
I owe so much of this feeling to my friends and collaborators Bobbi Salvör Menuez, Nick Weiss, Cecile Believe and Lyra Pramuk for these profound one-on-one moments of doing this powerful thing of holding up a sonic mirror to me. For example, I remember this moment when Nick, who helped me with my first record ELATION, was like, “You know Colin, you make music like this,” and then proceeded to make all of these vocal sounds and I was like, “Ooh right.” Or creating the performance Paraphrase of a Shadow with Bobbi, which revolves around the animism and transformation of a lost glove. The whole process of arriving at “lemniscate” was about drawing these lines of continuity across dimensions and timelines, connecting with myself.
In what way does the video itself speak to the song’s message?
I wanted to introduce this new musical chapter from within the vastness of a journey and the kind of rawness of just being Colin without styling or hair or makeup. This is what we got. In the circumstance of singing these words candidly to the listener, it felt appropriate to the rawness of that first vocal take, surrounded by the surreal beauty of the dunes. The video ends with this moment of finding this pink wig in the middle of the desert, which is imbued with this voice reciting thieves’ cant, “What comes at the willows’ key.” I’m no Nicki Minaj, but I am a consciously challenged brave and problematic Sagittarius who will have a pink wig unfold as a narrative center of what comes next.
How does the song and video collectively reflect the lemniscate EP’s larger message?
“lemniscate” is this moment of arrival after a long journey and this affirmation of willingness to stay by one’s side through whatever comes next. I would hope this video can echo backward into the other tracks for listeners to imagine where I might have been and to visualize this trans-dimensional journey that it took to arrive at lemniscate. I hope this sentiment of connecting with one’s self across time would resonate: to think forward and backward across time, and realize that when we free ourselves of the myth of linear time, we connect to our past and future selves and are free of some imagined self-imposed limitations.
I wrote ‘lemniscate’ on the other side of what felt like a grueling journey of lostness, arriving at this clarity and sense of self.
Photography: Bobbi Salvör Menuez
Colin Self’s Iemniscate EP unfolds as an opera seria in four parts, beginning with their voice fluttering acapella before exploding into total chaos and, finally, arriving at a sense of clarity on the closing track. This powerful journey, from innocence to terror and understanding, is reflective of what Self says they were experiencing while creating…